lookupandobserve

2009-05-13T12:46:00.002+08:00

holidays finally. time to enjoy myself and have targets!

but really, i think there will be this thing about women that i can never understand.

but whatever, just do whatever you like, i can't care less. its almost at a mental stage.

2009-04-08T21:02:00.003+08:00

i have no idea how to apply whatever i'm studying to the text we will get on monday. what the heck.

i still have the whole freaking sounds/features of english to memorise.

then there's geography, a shoe box high of notes. wonderful.

inhuman, i tried to start early, but i'm back in this rut again.

come on, next time i will be on track. hai.

2009-04-06T08:11:00.001+08:00

i really have no idea how to take my exams, yeah, i wasn't keeping up with work throughout the semester so i'm pretty screwed now. looks like i have to start mugging alr. haha.

2009-02-17T09:24:00.002+08:00

should we be seeing things from such a commercial standpoint? lives are worth nothing like a transaction and seemingly wasted for the purpose financial freedom. there is no doubt that there is some truth in what you said, but i concluded,

you will always regret and be cynical of your decisions made 40 years ago, because there are too many "if only"s and because things are this way. we are beings who are designed for regret.

theres nothing more demoralising than a father and son talk.

2009-02-01T14:31:00.001+08:00

deleted. to savour the memories as they are.

been busy. so much work its maddness. fruitful CNY.

2008-12-05T11:50:00.002+08:00

Went for the mendaki camp, enjoyable. great fun. Now that its over, some part of me feels like having a 3day 2night thingy. hahaha. but because I wasn't on the planning comm. So its much much easier. great bonding time for everyone. more photos to come.

2008-11-10T23:15:00.004+08:00

To walk away anytime and to prevent the sorrow when it eventually disappears. I always tell myself, 3/4. This afternoon I was 4/4, I was vulnerable, and nothing helped. I just needed a few words, and I couldn't find them.

I was just awoken to my one (and only) rule:

Thou shall not step 100% into it.

I'm losing faith, at times I feel like shit and I want out.

Perhaps its just the seasonal effects.

2008-11-10T18:42:00.001+08:00

I feel so much better after talking to meihui. thanks miss goh. really calmed me down. wish you luck for the exams !!

I feel

2008-11-10T12:51:00.003+08:00

I feel vulnerable, I feel stressed, I feel like there is nothing I can do to help myself. I feel I'm at a dead end. I feel weak. I feel I'm on the brink of giving up.

Why did I even choose this route?

I should have just done something else, anything else seems like a good choice at this point of time. Someone, help me please. I really need it.

2008-11-05T08:44:00.003+08:00

Dinner with Kaiyin and Janet last night. Thanks so much for taking time out to have dinner. We talked so much, only to find out we have missed out so much on each other's lives.

Made me realise, why am I doing this when there was nothing right from the start? maybe I just want to prove things wrong now. Perhaps I just want to see some trace of remorse for everything?

2008-11-04T17:06:00.002+08:00

After last night. I have come to these conclusions.

1. Thankfully, I'm chinese.

2. Fortunately, he ISN'T chinese.

Thanks for implying he was first but because he isn't chinese, so you ended it.

Wonderful to know, makes me feel this is going absolutely nowhere at this point of time.

No wonder I told myself no long term commitments, nothing good really happens.

I'm counting, deep down I hope it will be a long time.

2008-11-02T20:50:00.004+08:00

Its been a long time since I surfaced. Only few hours to go, how come I always feel so shitty these two days of the year, every year. I really wonder, seriously.

Why do I feel that little bit of loneliness at this time, every year?

But my life is seriously so much better, without you. I'm so glad I didn't stay in the turmoil of it all.

You made me realise that I only need to give 10% now, when I gave you my everything, you just brushed it off like it was nothing. I will never forget all I did for you, I want you to feel every minute, every second if it. Trust me, I will see it through.

Call me immature, I just want to remind myself of my stupidity. It will never happen again.

Life is way better now, except the exams I say.

Soon, soon, I will update.

2008-07-21T02:47:00.002+08:00

I have never had much to regret. I live a comfortable life, wonderful family and friends. Of course there are the usual quarrels and disagreements, but things always worked itself out.

I concluded that I have only 2.

1. Not making a much better effort at the As. I may have tried, but I could have done better. I'm sure.

2. Losing or rather distancing from someone who was so very important to me. A friend who meant so much to me, so much so that her importance was like a family member. So many happy memories, all the meet-ups for studying which eventually led to chit-chats and neoprints. The calls and smses which always came at the right time, never failing to brighten my day. So many things I just don't want to forget.

I sincerely want to apologise for things I should have have said/done in that insignificant phone call which did not concern the two of us directly in any way.

It has been 2 years, but it has always been at the back of my head. You trusted me and I took it all for granted. I don't really know if this was your reason for our distance, perhaps it was just the change in our individual environments, but the guilt from misplacing your trust was what kept me away from you. I even pretend to be nonchalant when we met by chance, but deep down I felt so bad I just didn't know what to say to you. I realised I never got the chance to apologise, I know you may never see this, but perhaps this would help me feel better.

Sally Wong, I'm sorry. I really am.

2008-07-14T23:04:00.002+08:00

With all my sincerity, I hope you two will lead happy separate lives. I want to just walk away from the two of you, but I think its very difficult. I will try.

2008-05-02T02:28:00.003+08:00

why do things have turn out to in this manner. I'm at my wits end.

Lies and deception, is that all to it? I can't bear to lose everything there was between the 3 of us. where has the brothers for life gone too?

I am to blame. I never meant for things to become like this. I didn't expect us to be so fragile.

I'm sorry.

2008-04-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

should or should not?

someone help me decide.

also, why i do you have to think i have something against you? i will give up many things for that wall to come down.

2008-04-22T17:41:00.004+08:00

oh yes. i have completed the civilian conversion course. feels weird with so much time on my hands.

guess the line. its "how come you all here?"

was at peiling's surprise birthday party on saturday. haha. still the same joyious person i say. but of course much smarter now! she actually got suspicious after i called janice. haha. we bought her a lomo camera, one that does dreamy effects at kinokuniya in taka.

traffic jam

many other photos, but its too difficult to move photos from top to bottom as the post gets longer. should consider repairing the windows computer. so it shall end with an "eye-pleasing" goodbye

see you again soon.

2008-04-08T18:19:00.002+08:00

time to do my part.

http://mydressingroom.livejournal.com/

2008-03-31T14:19:00.003+08:00

in the end, you're always the one who becomes soft __

something i will remember for a long time to come. thanks to a friend who was kind enough to remind me. maybe its hard to change, but try i will.

days are slacked to the max. total of 13 days MC for wisdom tooth extractions. how good is that. so much free time.

prawn fishing, one of my best activities this week, 15 prawns and 3 hours of well spent time.

managed to catch step up 2 as well. interesting stuff. but rather predictable plot, at some point, felt like a high school musical, with all the dancing. met up with char on saturday for a afternoon of slacking, first to BJ's at dempsey, talking cock, listening to music and checking out people. been a long time, one year to be exact since i had the chance/time for slack around with char like that. went to town to get a present for my baby niece, who is due to be born soon.

i swear baby clothes are such money makers. damn, they have newborn, which is 0-3 MTHS. yes, months, then 3 - 6 mths, then followed by infant, which is 6 - 12 mths. So that means throughout the 1st year, you would have to change the baby's wardrobe like 3 times. And with each piece of clothing above $25. woah. some major bucks there. Eventually, decided to get this bright pink hoodie after consulting char, who was woo-ing and ah-ing over the cute stuff. i hope it will look cute on her, my niece i mean, not charlene. haha.

Ironic stories, do they go in a cycle, generation after generation? haha. i would never do something so silly.

4,5,6 and 7. so what. doesn't mean it will go to 8,9 and 10. i want to see what else you can throw into it. nothing lasts, they crumble, succumbing to time. that is when you will realise what you have been missing out.

2008-02-24T23:13:00.004+08:00

Less than 2 months to go. I'm glad about leaving the cruel grip of national service. But deep down, it just signifies that I can no longer run. 2 years, I've come to the end, it's time to face the realities of life.

It's confusing. Deal with whatever comes here? or leave everything I have, to start afresh somewhere else? Where's the person who can help me decide?

To be honest, I'm afraid, afraid of what the future holds.

2008-02-07T10:12:00.001+08:00

yes. its here again. here i have a short post to wish everyone who reads this a Happy Chinese New Year. Maybe this year be the year of your dreams, may this year bring you and your family great health and wealth like never before.

enjoy the gambling my friends, its only once a year.

to wen, if you're reading this and you feel alittle down then please go on, if you aren't then just end here!. yes here....

don't feel down! its only chinese new year, you and all of us have many more CNYs to come down the road!! you'll be back in time for next year's!!!!

2008-01-04T21:02:00.001+08:00

Happy 2008 to one and all. i have no idea who are the people reading this. but still. A very happy new year.

quick update on the ongoings for the past month.

attack of the huiwen begins!

brother and sisters

prettier than ever. haha. her of course.

daphne/me/orchard xmas decorations

again. once a year photo.

group

attack of the huiwen ends with THE EYE

GSAB anniversary dinner in the beginning of the month.

we hung out after the dinner.
with jason & john

john and jie sheng

drunkard acts.

2007-12-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

bbq was cancelled, due to poor attendance. so much for me going ahead to buy some "essential" stuff.

i ought to be angry, had to ask to find out that it was cancelled. but well, its hard to get angry at people who are close to heart. so yeah. i guess we'll find a chance to have a class bbq again. Besides, didn't spend much, luckily i planned to buy remainder on the day itself.

i bought $20 worth of sparkles, 40 boxees, 200 plus sticks. i have no idea what i'm going do with them.

new plans being laid out as i type this sms.i'm sure it will be a good.

2007-12-02T03:32:00.000+08:00

past two days were spent with huiwen and gang. its such a rare occasion that she's back.
town, nydc, altivo, al azhar, wala wala we went,
but time is short, neither does it turn back.

somehow or another, i have that feeling, which i have not felt in some time.
i guess its a feeling of not being able to enjoy her presence often,
someone i used to see everyday, communicate daily,
leaving for another country.
perhaps its that take for granted feeling,
but after these two days,
i realised that friendship is fragile.

we say one year will go by really quick, but in fact it's a long time.
in one year's time, will we, still be able to come together, to chill-out and supper?
will be too busy to meet up?
will we be strangers by then?
though i know and have this feeling that we probably won't be,
i will try my best to not let the worst outcomes come true.

i don't know if you're reading, wen.
but you be sure that the few of us, well, at least myself, will be around for you,
anytime, not matter what.

take care and have fun, all the best for the year ahead.
this is perhaps cliche, but i think i will miss you. haha.

2007-11-29T23:30:00.001+08:00

i was reading this article the other day.

"you can be a nice, but you cannot hope that people will return your favour. don't expect returns for your investments" investments here is simply the act of being nice to someone.

the article made me think and concluded.
just act how we think is best,
even if it means we get taken advantage off,
if it makes others happier,
it should make me happy too.
suffering alittle shouldn't be too much of a problem.

i honestly still believe in karma. hope doing some good will help. haha.

-

on another note. val's birthday was great.
lots of fun and laughter, and nc16 scenes.
lots of photos were taken, especially the "juan jia fu" and ones with val. i will post them up when i get them from everywhere.

2007-11-19T00:17:00.000+08:00

just got back from dinner with the chingus at jurong east. as usual, jokes come around and somehow or another, we laugh at everything, sometimes i really wonder if things are really so funny or just its the self-entertainment we so perceive. or perhaps they're just studying tooooo hard for the upcoming exams.

interesting quotes, some from meihui

chingus : Chingus Corp, we know who we are, i guess.

野人1号 : Ck

野人2号 : someone had to replace 野人1号 right? who better than me? photo was taken of me trying to imitate 野人1号(shall be up soon)

死性不改 : we ordered exactly the same drinks as we did the last time, kopi peng (ice coffee LOL), teh peng and 中国苹果

把豆撒出来 : spill the beans

把猫从书包里放出来 : let the cat out of the bag

最近油起价 : case study by a particular geography student

我等一下 meet 人/他在 platform 等待我 : wonderful plan

16th of every month : time to eat meat

it was fun and i really look forward to many more dinners with the chingus. more ZI CHAR please, hahaha. next time we go hunt down the best ZI CHAR ok. lol.
thanks to eileen for being so considerate as to go to such extremes. but its really alright! you're such a lousy liar, but i still fell for it of course.

meihui: i think the revamping of LAI LAI Corp to Chingus Corp is a pretty good idea. lets wait to hear from CEO. and LAI LAI kitchen still around what, just saw it the other day at JP?

on a another note. the word mahjong addict keeps being pictured on my mind.
3 days in a row. headache. and alot of money.

some pictures, courtesy of charlene,

being stressed out after losing alot of money.

the occasional picture(i think she's just too short to take such a photo)

too much mahjong over too many days. like what meihui/eileen said "回头是岸", and i think thats thing to do.

am i really a mysterious person?
am i really a emotional train, bound to be wrecked?

aren't all scorpios mysterious people? but are they all revengeful people?

sometimes i just love whining/bitching too much. hahaha.

2007-11-14T00:40:00.000+08:00

i don't know why only my fobble chatterbox has been shut down. but everyone else's seem fine. only mine is down. well, maybe i don't really need it anyways, i doubt many people do come by nowadays. i try to sign up for a new account, but the website just hangs.

clearing leave again, its not like i have so many things to do in my personal life, but why have so much leave/off.

urgh. shit bored to hell once again.
one week was enough, now its another long weekend.
seems like no one is really free to be going out anyways, or maybe i'm just too lazy.

sometimes i really wish i had not done somethings,
cause it all just backfires on me.
the distance should just have been kept, lines should have been drawn,
i merely just compromised myself to make others feel fulfilled.
no wonder they say you only live once.
i'm taking my leave. goodbye.

holes can only be patched, but never renewed.

when you try and be the good guy, nothing good comes back.
they say karma is a "what goes around, what comes around" thing,
i think i'm paying for my debts, period.
by the looks of it, i think i probably did many many evil things.

i dunno why i'm so excited by the fact that my nephew/niece is on the way.
maybe the addition to the family could help ease the tension that has been building up.
will he/she look more like my sister or my brother-in-law?
4/5 months more.

thinking of putting up some photos. but i'm jsut too lazy..

"I got a piece of paper but its empty...Its empty...maybe we're trying, trying too hard"

2007-11-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

mahjong, mahjong. what else is there to do?
camp is just as boring.

ever wondered why the human is built in this certain way ?
like the way they remember only when they need something,
the way they never remember after they get something they want,
the way that they give as much as they want to recieve.
we want the control, but full control is immpossible,
you just press buttons and hope someone will come along to help you.
AND
why can't some people just see that the world does not revolve around them? and that people are trying to make adjustments to let you have your way, but you give nothing back to make them feel like they did the right thing?
i wonder how some people stand it - boyfriends/girlfriends/partners/good friends.
perhaps some people are just really, very, very, very giving and ask for nothing in return.

the reality of it all, complicated. somewhat like a human orchestra with no conductor?

random whinnings.

i hope you get so injured from your tumble/trip/fall, really, maybe it will wake you up, that there're other human beings beside you in this world.

who can say revenge is not sweet?

was talking to john today, i realise i have plans.
i'm looking forward to putting them into action.
some just involve alot of waiting, others just need some realism.
i'm pretty sure i will meet these goals one day. some in the near future,
others asap, so i can get back what was taken away.

to my nephew/niece. i'm waiting, only a few more months :)
i'm going to be an uncle. hahahha. sounds exciting just to hear that,
doesn't it?

"I wanna fill this new frame, but it's empty"

2007-11-05T23:53:00.000+08:00

i do too much, period.
to be honest, i'm alittle disappointed by some.

karma?

2007-11-05T11:15:00.000+08:00

i'm grateful. grateful for everyone who remembered. thanks so much. it was a wonderful day.
sometimes its not about it being noisy. quiet and peace are great as well.

2007-10-30T22:16:00.001+08:00

courses, last mintue ones seem to be the favourite. and a two day course with overnight duty is so SAF.
but we did learn much from it all.

caught up with a friend for supper the other night,
someone i have not met in a long time. interesting.
somethings are just not meant to be said,
somethings change and somethings don't at all.

investment not reaping returns,
i can only wait for results,
ups and downs.

"I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever"

2007-10-27T00:44:00.001+08:00

final combat shoot 2

done and over. many things happen with the gang around, including,

celebrating big john's birthday at the range,
lots of quarrelling, conflcting comments, but all ending in laughter, with everyone laughing at lai,
all in search of the much eluded marksmanship for CS, top of big john's birthday wish,
the only marksman in the team could not do anything to save the day,
damn the night shoot fig 12 luminated target, can't see shit,
end of the day, we just were not accurate enough.

it was also interesting to see our wonderful family like feel of tengah,
sat down at a corner of the waiting area, sleepy.
ended up with us sleeping all around each other, lying on one another, human pillows and all.
all within the same area, very family-ish.
shared everything, drinks, food and attempted to share the unexpended rounds. ahhaa.
thats the part i love the most, and will be missing the most when i do eventually leave,

only need to wait for the countdown. here i come.

reaping returns, perhaps.

was home early, considering it was range.
into bed early, but online checking out music,
but somehow or another,
chatted with a friend all the way till 3am,
and my intention was to sleep at 11. hahaha.
but it was my pleasure, of course.

gifts 101

met mr lai at 6plus to shop for the presents for ivy (and yafen's) present next week,
seems like we sure take things seriously, one week before and the presents are all ready. lol.
bought ivy something useful after she graduates, hopefully.
and yafen something she wun mind taking it all down. ahahha.
but i just learnt that yafen won't be there, so there goes the brain juices.
shopping is tiring, honestly, i seldom make so much effort..
not something i can do on a regular basis.

i will try to update regularly nowadays.

"When I see your smile, tears roll down my face. I can't replace."

2007-07-31T22:45:00.000+08:00

(source from http://forums.vr-zone.com/showthread.php?t=172583)

when i see a picture like this, it really makes all the hard work and the shit we go through worth while. for that 7 secs of pyrotechnics exploding from the performers and skaters, for that 3 mins where the whole night sky is lighted up. when one set of pyrotechnics is released, you hear the crowd cheer, it just feels great somehow or another. we may be complaining all the time about the duties, about the hard work of carrying stuff and all, but when it all comes down to the finale, we all seem to feel accomplished at our week's hard work, especially when the crowd cheers so energetically.

for a show on saturday, we start preparing since tuesday. hahaa.

ndp 07 fireworks.

2007-07-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

alan: fine la, some things happened. but its nothing now.

past vs present was fun. great seeing the guys again, much less playing rugby with them, somehow or another, things just seem to connect among us, we even seemed much stronger than the current juniors and the graduated seniors.
maybe its the amount of time we've been playing. thought we play together once a year, things seem to gel together nicely and we put up good plays. hahaha.

4games, 3 wins and1 draw

2 tries, one crowd pleaser and the other with a mouthful of grass.

couldn't ask for more, just look forward to more chances to play together with the guys. hahaha

2007-06-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

its not about the person, its the trust i had in you.

if you're happy, then i give you all my blessings.

2007-06-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

here's another to add to alan's list of things you/i/we/they don't know.

Haunting every feeling
leaving cracks
and tremors tearing

nightmares as I dream
hurts each time I wake like cuts that bleeds
with every breath I take

like chains inside my prison
or a noose upon the rope
strangling wishes I've had
tearing out my hope

tears behind the smile
the truth as I pretend
is hidden
in an unknown world
never to be found

2007-05-29T03:38:00.000+08:00

nothing

Sitting alone this night
not a single sound
Silence is overtaking me
not another soul is around

Loneliness seeps in
racing to the heart
In need of some comfort
to know that I am safe

When I'm all by myself
thoughts in my mind race
Thinking of happy times
trying to find a place,
to prove it was all worth it

The silence pains me
nothing is what I hear
The sound of your voice
robbed me of everything i had

Trying to get through the night
knowing nobody is there
Waiting on the sun to rise
I realise i have nothing

nothing at all. 

2007-04-09T20:21:00.000+08:00

well, nothing much has really been going on.

except yesterday, we went to marina south pier, new place. really nice view of the sea. much nicer if it was daytime.

will be back with some photos soon.

meanwhile, a photo of the surprise dinner we had for chunkit, the April Fool's baby. hahaha

also, catch the video the peeps made for him at www.iori-game.blogspot.com . (sorry, can't put on hyperlinks using my mac. guess blogger isn't Mac-friendly? ) things get alittle funny, and of course, there's his favourite part. haha.

2007-03-08T21:48:00.000+08:00

i will make you regret your decision one day.

you will realise that it was a stupid mistake,
just like the other ones you made,
which you overlooked just because things don't meet your current demands.

2007-02-12T21:58:00.000+08:00

saturday was fun, thanks guys for going for the dinner.
of course, thanks to peiling for organising the event.

been a long time, so here are some photos.

2007-01-18T21:37:00.000+08:00

now i know the feeling of being drunk.
but i had some good friends,
those that will be there for me,
brothers already for 17 years,
here's to another 17.

---

always there,
but no one picks it up,
let it be lost forever, please.
don't ever come back for it.

2006-12-30T14:16:00.000+08:00

do we seek to please?
do we want or do we need?
do we want everything?
or should we deserve it?

then there's the past or future,
the past maybe wants,
but the future should be what we need.

hahaha. ok. therotical explainations are taught, but practical reality is harsh. haha.

if you can't be bothered, i won't too.
its the last time i did,
no wonder no one did,
cause in the end,
i will never be close,
to what i want,
forgetting its what i need the matters.

so much have happened this 2 weeks,
family and friends,
how i wish its a dream.

2006-12-25T14:43:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!

may the year ahead be the smoothest and carefree-ist one.

please take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR.

special greetings to wen, joel and wl.

---

huiyu, please take care of yourself. you will be fine in no time!!

---

over and over i try,
over and over i hope,
giving hope and effort,
but its always ends in,
utter disappoinment.

2006-12-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

my life may be quite plain nowadays. buy days revolving around this place,
i seem to like it here.
5.56s, 7.62s, 0.5in, 25mm, 75mm, 120, 155. c4, sfg87,
just name it and i might have seen it before,
interesting place really,
to worry about things here,
beats thinking about unimportant stuff outside.

i have forgotten so many things,
the happy and unhappy ones,
the important or unimportant.

its good, and i like it.

----
happy?
my blessing then.

i do miss all the going out,
pity there's not many chances now.
hahaha.

2006-11-22T23:53:00.000+08:00

who ever told me driving a forklift was easy,
please slap yourself.
ok, maybe a normal one is easy,
but a saf one,
makes life tiring.

------
why do have to hold on to something that is a dream and fantasy?
why not just look forward to other things and people?
is the object of your dreams and fantasies keeping you in this state of trance?
or is it just your naive thinking that fantasies do come true?

2006-11-12T11:58:00.000+08:00

well, my taiwan bubble has been burst,
by mum and her strong objections.
i was looking forward to going,
one year is too long she says,
maybe it indeed is.

----

go on,
dwell in your dreams and fantasies,
they are and still will be dreams and fantasies,
bound never to come true.

2006-11-06T19:36:00.000+08:00

thanks to everyone that surprised me on saturday. i'm honestly touched. hahaha. i ALMOST cried ok? hahaa.

shoutout to chinying, janice, linhui, peiling, daphne, charlene, junxiang and of course sally for organising the whole thing. lots of love.

and also a special note to valerie, thanks lots for wanting to go , i understand why you couldn't make it, its alright. after your exams, we can go chill!

photos, i have yet to get. haha.

thanks so much for the one hell of a brownie.
and also JX, for the wonderful shirt.

2006-11-03T05:21:00.000+08:00

the 5.20 am air is fresh,

the night is ever so peaceful,
the world moves on,
i don't expect anything to stop.

but at least i can take a break today,
to know i have reached a new part of my life.

thanks,
to everything and everyone.

2006-10-26T12:34:00.000+08:00

everyone else can, but not you.

---

great acting skills?
i hope.

2006-10-24T09:08:00.000+08:00

invisible

i feel so alone,
in this battle against nothing.
no one taught me how to deal with all these.
it is true that no one can help me,
if not why is everyone walking away?
invisible forces taking all i have,
leaving the bare minimal,
depriving me of the things i had,
depriving me the life i thought i would have.
once wasn't enough.
already left with so little,
how much more will i lose?

----

forget everything that you ever wanted.

2006-10-22T23:15:00.000+08:00

to everyone last night, we should be doing this more often. HAHAA.
seeing everyone in their worst state,
next time at my place?

----

will you ever change your mind?

2006-10-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

forget everything that seemed wonderful.

-----

today,a friend asked me(in a conversation about nothing) "should we treat others the same way they treat us? ".

i didn't know how to answer,
i wanted to answer yes,
but do we really?
are things other people do recognised by us?
do we simply let them by?

after thinking about it,
i chose to answer no,
cause we rate the importance of every person in our lives.
you may see me as an important friend,
but i may see you as any other friend.
you maybe give alot of effort to make me happy,
but i can make you feel like shit without any thought.

can we all answer yes to this question sometime in our lives?

ok, maybe i have been reading too much of alanang's posts! hahaha.

----

sometimes its just plain stupid to be this way

sometimes maybe keeping quiet is the better choice,
hopefully its the right choice.

2006-09-28T21:54:00.000+08:00

Heard what happened,
I can't believe you did it.

things have changed,
once a best friend,
now merely just an acquaintance?

disappointment is all I can feel.

all this just makes me want to go to Taiwan even more.

--

i won't stay for long,
if you don't want me too.

2006-09-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

I found a place,
to visit,
to experience different cultures,
to escape realities of life,
to spend one year of NSF,

Taiwan, ROC.

--

I just cannot admit,
that I've lost.
I want more than this,
what's wrong,
what have I done wrong,
why do things have to be like this?

2006-09-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

a tribute to Syawla Evol,

releasing their single soon on radio, please check out HERE for a preview!!

this is still my favourite song after so long.

Unreplaceable

Looking at you while you're on my bed;
It brings me back the sweetness that did the effect
I am captured by your innocence;
But now you're someone that I just don't understand.
Some of the things you indulge in haunts me still;
Perhaps it's just my fault because it's my own prejudice

Now I know, the girl its you
Why are you avoiding me, fighting my advances
But I'm here, jus waiting for you.
Reparations can be paid but nothing can replace the love from you

Just a day has gone I'm suffering,
How will it be if all of this is permanent
My eyes may roam but then my heart is fixed;
cos' you're the only one in my life whom I am keen
It seems all over but I'm not impressed;
I'm not about to let you go so easy just like that.

congrats luthfi, hope to see more of you guys soon. hahaha.

--

think you're on priority?
think again,
as far as i can remember,
you got off quite some time ago.

2006-09-17T22:33:00.001+08:00

ok, next hurdle.

--

MJ: he can afford it lar, only 30 dollars to meihui. the something funny is a inside joke. but the worst thing is, he helped me lose $5 too, from the $15 i had halfway through the game? hahahaa.

Chunkit's sis: hahaha. nope, thats not my girlfriend, but she is my classmate. i don't have a girlfriend, not in the near future too. ask your brother to get one lar, or maybe just remind him about "KL". HAHAHHAA.

Meihui: sounds good. but the problem is when? you two damn busy leh. haha.

--

God broke the mold,
When he made this one I know
She's breathtaking but so much more
She walks in the room, your lungs close
Making you never want to breathe again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrist froze
Is he faithful to her? Hell no
But she chose to be with him, shorty

Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime

Because

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

She's so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money's hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do
Girl it's just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine
You're out the door and he's through with you

Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

You're a masterpiece
I know that he
Can't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Its Time that someone let you know

mario vasquez - gallery
--

I was just being polite, you need not think so far,
go ahead,
say what you want, continue dreaming,
you will never come near.

2006-09-14T23:48:00.000+08:00

final theory tomorrow, i hope i pass, then i can get a TP test date and get down on getting my driving license. soon i guess.

will you be my first passenger?

---

I will be around,
just a phonecall to get me.

---

I can't continue what I do,
I'm tired.

do we really mean it when we say something,
or do we say them for the sake of keeping things the way they are?
we tend to lose out eventually that way.

2006-09-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

chunkit, come on lar, fishing? hahaha. we both know why you suddenly don't wanna play mahjong. afraid that i will try something funny? hahaha. don't pretend pretend k?

--

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

--

detachment, the goal?
forgetting, the ultimate end point?
finding fault, only natural.
not to hate, desire.
a chance, only wished.

2006-08-30T21:58:00.000+08:00

Ikea anyone?

----

can this be it?

2006-08-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

4 months,

I still don't know why you said all those for.

why take away the things I have from me slowly?

how much more do you want?

-----------

what can I do to change things?

2006-08-14T20:53:00.000+08:00

been awhile, nothing much has happened lately, so i shan't digress.

i have been asked to remove the photos of miss lim huiwen, but its a popular hit you know?! hahaha.

ok. i only been bored these days. hahaha.

----

tell me what i want to hear please.

2006-07-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

ok, i shall make a comparison.

which one makes you shiver more, miss lim?
which one would you want me to take down?
HAHHAHAHAHA...
i know..

i'm one evil shit.

PS: i bet you wanna come back just to wringle my neck? hahaha.
replying your email soon! long story. hahaha

----------------------------------------------

sometimes we're just too sensitive,
aren't we?
when its about us,
we pretend not to see it.
when its not about us,
we pretend to see right through it.
----------------------------------------------

shot down with reckless abandon.

2006-07-30T23:04:00.001+08:00

Just caught "Shallow Hal" on Channel 5.
it was alright, quite funny,
but i realised such things only happens in movies.
haha.

2006-07-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

i feel stupid everytime,
this time was no exception.

no more i always tell myself,
but i somehow jsut cannot give up this investment.

well, at least its slowly becoming a dead stock,
soon, i hope.

2006-07-23T07:52:00.000+08:00

attention miss lim huiwen, please note that i'm looking for you. urgency rate: 1 out of 10.

PS: i know at this point you're cursing me, but i also don't know who took this photo.

2006-07-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

I have been losing many things lately,
people,
things,
and feelings.

just what do I have to do?
in what state does HE want to see me?

I'm left such a small handful of important people/friends in my life,
who care,
but I'm slowly losing them.
when will this stop?

I'm to blame,
honestly.

--------------------------
CHECKLIST

1. I need some LOBOHIA time, time to arrange that bbq I promised kenneth.

2. Get my license.

3. Go out with the senior techs.

4. Stay at home more.

5. More golf.

6. More mahjong (chunkit, next week?)

7. More 03A01 time.

8. To feel happy.

9. To feel contented.

10. Survive School of Ammunition.

----------------------------

Please

Just what do you see,
in this perfect person of yours?
It's a mystery,
of which only you know,
and it will always be,
one that I will never question.
If i ever do,
I foresee the joy in your eyes,
which will only make me feel sadder,
forgive me,
for feeling this way,
please.

I'm sorry.

2006-07-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Woon Yang Hui. Happy 21ST! Happy Birthday my sister.

2006-07-16T00:43:00.000+08:00

how long does it take to gain sufficient trust in someone?

few days, weeks, months or years?

2006-07-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

anyone with something to do this weekend?
i'm bored.

--------------------------------

maybe i'm not of much use anymore ,
should we call it quits?

--------------------------------

cool but hard to melt.

2006-07-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

when the world goes into an uncontrolled spin,
just close your eyes and

that was what you told me almost 5 years ago,
we have never spoken since the day we went our seperate ways.
i see that now you're happy,
i sincerely give you my best wishes.

thanks for still wearing the necklace.

-------------------------------------

camp is as boring as usual.
but the movie on friday was funny.

"THANK YOU FOR SMOKING"

is smoking rally bad for health? many will argue, but what i got was,

"the beauty of arguement, if you argue it correctly, you're never wrong!"

------------------------------------

Orson - No Tomorrow

I see that twinkle in your eye,
You shake that ass and I just die,
Let's check our coats and move out to the floor.

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter.
Turn that music up
'Till the windows start to shatter
'Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet.
And I can't even dance.

Just look at me, Silly Me,
I'm as happy as can be-
I got a girl who thinks I rock.
And tomorrow there's no school,
So lets go drink some more Red Bull,
And not get home 'till about 6:00.

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter.
Turn that music up
'Till the windows start to shatter
'Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet.
And I can't even dance.

Everybody here is staring
At the outfit that you're wearing
I love it when they check you out.
Cover's only twenty bucks,
And even if the dj sucks
It's time to turn this mutha out!

When we're together
When we're together
There's no tomorrow,
There's no tomorrow
When we're together
There's no one in the world
but you and me oh
you and me oh
You and me

-----------------------------------

too cool to be true

2006-07-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

ok. germany is out.

now that the hosts are gone,

i'm pretty sure France is going to win the world cup.

with many of thier players(maybe only zidane) at the end of their international

careers,everything points towards them.

unless there's some big exception tonight.

---------------------------------

weekend is near.

i have yet to get my new posting,

well, at least i think the weekend will be fun.

---------------------------------

oh yes, something interesting today.

a singh, yes, indian with a turban,

playing chinese chess?

of course he doesn't understand the words on the chess.

this is how they translated for him.

Ping(soldier) = infantry/rifleman

Pao(cannon) = artillery units

Ma(horse) = commando( why commandos? cause riding horse, as good as airborne in the olden era.they are also swift in attack riding horses)

Xiang(elephant) = guards (cause they ride the slower of the "vehicles", so alomst like the guards being heliborne, and what more, one elephant can carry a few soldiers)

the others were not as funny. but thier meanings were more direct.

so throughout the day, they taught him how to play chinese chess,

and my god, it was funny. playing using english.

"first, send some infanty units to fight abit first, then more your commandos. guards and tanks to a more strategic position for attack."

"ok, now use your commando unit to attack the opposition infantry unit!"

"yes, ate them already, now move your guards unit to support!"

"ok, now fire some artillery and KILL THEM!"

"send the tank to mow the infantry down!"

well, it was sure funny, all the hokkien being used and shouting.

the singh ended only knowing how to pronouce general (jiang), but he pronounced it wrong. HHAHAHHA

---------------------------------

家永远在你的身旁
当我张开翅膀
时间却不经意迷失家的方向
当我满载成就
灰尘布满翅膀飞不回那扇窗

---------------------------------

the ice makes everything different,
you're just not the same person.

2006-07-02T14:19:00.000+08:00

how can brazil be out of the world cup?!
how?how?how?

i was hoping for a rematch of the 2002 worldcup.

----------

last night was fun.thanks song. hahha.

----------

superman returns. i'm told its not bad.
but people watch it just cause its superman.
i think i'm one of those people.

the only difference between superman and clark kent is a pair of glasses?
i don't believe luis lane caannot reconigise him.
considering she's one of the best reporters of the Daily Planet?

---------
she's so cool it freezes you into ice.

2006-06-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

dropped out from the technician course as i didn't take physics in the A Levels.

physics to do airplane marshalling and pre/post flight checks?

i hope the guys will fare well during the practical.
-------------------------------

pursue a woman not because she's hot,
but because she's so cool.

2006-06-16T01:21:00.000+08:00

rolling in bed at 0100 hours, i just came upon something.

it made me speechless, how is it possible? so fast.

i'm seldom in a loss for words, but of course with certain exceptions.

i think its bad karama, retribution, it feels like having the live m16 in my face, again.

maybe in simpler terms, i shot myself in the foot. hahaha.

----------------------------------------------------

i think i have been alittle busy to contact you, well, perhaps everyone, but yeah.

yes, you, maybe you know who you are.

on the whole, i miss talking to the really good friend in you,

before it gets concluded as a case of a seriously damaged ego, i think we should get some talktime, if possible.haha.

i was just really really tired the other time round, infact, maybe my mood wasn't all that good either.

i apologise for that.

hope to meet soon,

i will buy the tequila pops and salted rim shots,

if you still drink them.

2006-06-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

i have never been more ill, i accept the common flu and stuff which goes away in 2 days.
but flu, cough, fever, sore throat,vomitting and this amazing migraine for over a week i just cannot accept.
whatsmore, the medication seems to make me break out in cold sweat and feel so weak that i can't even stand up properly.
and once the fever's gone, the migraine gets worst.

my trip to the family doctor today costed 60bucks. for 60 bucks, i thought i would get stacks of pills, but it turned out i only got 5 antibiotic pills and 5 pills for the flu.

what more i cannot stand is, this is my bloc leave. what the fuck really.

while typing this entry, this song played on mtv, i think its a nice song.

I'm wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, For you I will

Forgive me if I st-stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, For you I will, For you I will

For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room
I would

That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do to get through to you, yeah

Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, For you I will, For you I will

For you I will

2006-05-27T17:51:00.000+08:00

its getting very very boring, i have so much free time that:

1. it seems there is little carbon in that M16.

2. i can see my reflection in those parade boots.

3. i find joy in doing foot drills.

4. i have finished most of the men's magazines you can think off.

but weekends feels worst, where have the people gone?

hahahhaa.

060606.

but why? the bonding has only just started.

2006-05-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

"Its not what you leave behind, but its what you will gain in the days ahead"

two weeks on and life is normal. really nice view of the sunset from my bunk.

2006-04-21T01:06:00.000+08:00

and the ending is never there,
i'm so tired.

hope to see you again.
thank you and goodbye

便利商店里谁也买不到
我们最想要的东西
只愿你的记忆里有...

2006-04-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

time does fly, I have 6 days left, as a civilian.
well, i guess its all part of life,
i'm actually looking forward to it,
a chance to start fresh.

mere words

W hat myseterious twist of fortune knew
to merge our parallel strides;
that sent two strangers on this whirlwind ride
of a turbulent journey known to few.

O ften when confusion overwhelmed,
I longed for a safer realm,
but sheer determination made me remain
where there's nothing i can feign.

R esounding similiarities so stark,
uncanny moments with no one spared;
those deeper differences we mask
and private thoughts with no one shared.

D istance -
that chasm too wide to deny:
as you fade into the horizon
and i retreat inside my heaven -
to see each other whole against the sky

S o much hanging over our heads,
but so little to be said;
for the thoughts and feelings we suppress,
mere words cannot express.

just what should i do ?
i honestly have no time left.

enlistment: 6 days.
BTT: 2 days.

2006-04-09T23:49:00.000+08:00

To say "get the fuck out my life" may seem simple to some, yet difficult for others,

But i sure know a good roadsign when i see one.

I came up upon a roadsign today, a "detour" sign directing traffic to a slip road, but the road came up to a dead end, the only way was to turn back to the detour sign, so there was no detour at all. you end up going back and forth between the dead end and detour sign. evetually, we realised there was a smaller slip road that led to the main road, cause we missed a smaller detour sign.

1. That led me to wonder, if our lives were like roads, and people were the detour signs. if faced with this situation, would you try hard to look for another detour sign that could led you to the main road or continue going back and forth between the dead end and the first detour sign?

2. Do we live for the future or do we live in the past?

If you don't see the link in the above two points, i'm sorry, maybe i'm just too creative or plain imaginative,

maybe you never bothered to try the smaller slip road,

or even, you only drove in alittle, only to think that it was useless to follow the sign.

3. now thats how you live in the past, going between one or two detour signs and the dead end.

4. if you live for the future, you would have tried the smaller slip road with the small detour sign.

The small detour sign that leads to the main road will eventually be moved,

soon, it will be moved soon, just like how people will move.

If you have to live in the past, i wish you luck in finding a new detour sign.

5. not all existing detour signs are worth the trust and faith you put in them to point you in the correct direction. smaller signs may not be clear in approach, but they might eventually point you in the right direction.

hahahah. so much for roads and detour signs.

enlistment: 11 Days
BTT : 5 Days

2006-04-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

enlistment : 13 days
BTT : 7 days

i went for rugby training cause work ended early,
i went perfectly fine.

but now at home, i realised.

i have:
a swollen left wrist,
a right index finger that i can't really bent.
grazed and sore knees,
a sore neck and upper back, and
one hard knock to the head by a kicked ball thanks to junhan.

i also realised another thing,

my AGE.

being old does really mean you're weaker?
damn, no wonder my mother always complaining of bodyaches.

2006-04-07T13:49:00.000+08:00

yes, thank you chunkit for reminding me of the number of days left.

enlistment : 14 Days

woah, i can actually count the number with two hands and a foot.
everything seems primed for enlistment, no memories will be left behind,
well, maybe perhaps there's one.

BTT : 8 days!

Ck, better get to studying lar, i don't think i will pass it. hahahha.
trust me, i'm going to try and get everything done in 6 months! haha.

2006-04-03T19:35:00.000+08:00

where do I stand in your world?

far from even the boundary?

will i cease to exist in your world one day?

i guess i'm prepared for that.

2006-03-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

just what do I have to do?

2006-03-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

Boiling point was interesting, lots of fun.
thanks Sal and the fellow gang for the fun.

the days are passing slowly, exactly a month left to ns.
I wish I can go in earlier, so I can end things quickly.
whether you forgive or not won't matter,
what matters is that I don't want to keep it from you, any longer.

----------

"I'm afraid to move, I'm weak, it's true, I'm just scared to know the ending...
Do you see me too? Do you even know you met me?"

2006-03-08T22:18:00.000+08:00

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven’s gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings i'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin'

Nickelback - Savin' me

i'm falling or perhaps already fallen, will you come to save me? can you even see me? will you bother?
maybe its true that the gates won't open for me,
maybe i'm just pain silly, maybe i'm just plain imaginative,
or maybe i'm still far from the gates, gates to enter your heaven.

but you have taught me alot during this short period, i just want to tell you, and hope you will forgive me.

---------------------------------------------

oh yes, movie tmr. munich or the date. i have been dying to get out recently. i just sit around at work and it SO happens that i have ALOT of time to think about my future, my bleak future.

bleaker and bleaker, darker and darker, getting more confused and lost as i continue this post, where is the light ?

can you be my light? could you hold the light to my life?

i just want to share some of the burdens you struggle to hold, but am i able to help you?
guess not.

---------------------------------------------

and one more thing, due to popular demand from someone who wants to remain anonymous.
i shall do him a favour.

despite looking like an idiot with my eyes half closed, this is the best i can do. should have taken more pictures with my darling sister.

and one more to satisfy your greedy nature.

hope its enough FOR NOW, you disgusting little brat. HAHAHA

2006-03-06T18:11:00.000+08:00

second sister's wedding. all inexperienced, just stand around and smile.

i only managed to get one picture with my own camera, cause she had this photographer with her all the time.
think i shall post it out.

.

2006-03-05T09:54:00.000+08:00

a joyus occasion, but are we really joyful about it?

2006-03-03T18:17:00.000+08:00

for 20 yrs, i have never done anything to make you two proud of me, time and time again i have only been a disappointment.

the only time you all were proud of me, would probably the moment i was born, cause i was the boy that would let you feel good, after having two daugthers and earn some "face".

i want to say sorry, but will it even matter? i will never reach the expectations you all set for me, not when you all expect me to do even better than my sisters.

i had the motivation to reach those expectations, but you two lost it for me,
now i'm just some worthless person staying in this house, wasting resouces and money,
you all treat me like a stranger. where is the family proposed by you? the family you scracificed for?

i'm really sorry i'm just a burden to the world, your worlds,
i can never be the perfect son you expect me to be.

for all i care, go depend on your daugthers, don't tell me how pissed you are about whats happening, cause she is your daugther, you two might just be the cause of it all. she is right, whatever she is now, she learnt from the two of you.

2006-02-25T17:29:00.001+08:00

every friday seems to be a night filled with lots of fun.
wad will next friday be like? i wonder.

how will i ever be able to explain myself? to give you ridiculous excuses?
for me being such a person?

你坐在我身边可是表情很不自然, 聊的话很平凡却很悲伤...
在迷乱的台北流浪寻找一个幻想, 突然很渴望你在我身上找到你要的靠岸

咖啡麻醉不了孤单只会让夜更长...
在冷漠的台北流浪找一个避风港, 突然很渴望在你身上也找到我要的靠岸.

2006-02-25T05:22:00.000+08:00

zero

2006-02-23T23:58:00.000+08:00

i'm so going to spoil all the mood of the wedding. they all seem to have forgotten, which means it will only hit harder. i honestly hope things will be fine.

the day you lost everything you had, i lost my dreams and ambitions as well.

you have given me a life better than i could ask for, you had higher expectations of yourself in regards to providing for us, but i believe you have done everything you can and should.
i will never blame you for what happened, though i know you have always wanted beared the full responsibilty.

only now do i realise that ,
since that day, i can only blame myself.

2006-02-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

"That I love you, I have loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long, I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore...

On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance. 'Cause with you, I'd withstand, all of hell to hold your hand, I'd give it all, I'd give for us"

nickeback - far away

"After all this time, I never thought we'd be here, never thought we'd be here, when my love for you was blind. But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it. That I loved you more, than you'll ever know. And part of me died, when I let you go"

lifehouse - blind

i was wondering, why does it seem its the sad songs/storys that hit you?
is it cause people relate to the song?
it really does pay to be pessimistic doesn't it.

guess the songs just spoke my mind.

2006-02-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

that night, 3 of us, we kept asking, you sure you know what you're doing? you sure things are under your control?
you said you know what you're doing and what to do.
thanks for reassuring the 2 of us with lies and your fake smile.

no wonder your friends can be counted by 5 fingers, or less.
you say i'm a pretence, what about you?

i feel sad for you, but perhaps it wasn't your fault, maybe it was the ego boost that everyone gave you.
people treat you nice and you do this?
and to think i was on your side for awhile.

come to think of it, i actually felt alittle envious of the admiration that people gave you, the influence you had on others, the way people talked about you like some superstar, some model, some perfect looking person.
now i guess i really didn't need too,
cause now i think you're like an apple thats perfect on the outside, but with a rotten core.

wen says screw you,
but i think i prefer

fuck you.

2006-02-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

bring me back, give me back the things i use to have, make my life simpler, much much simpler, please.

2006-02-13T21:10:00.000+08:00

A: "Eh, tmr we open bottle ok?"

B: "You TAR?!"

A: "Er..."

B gives a blur look like nothing was wrong.

ok, that was the second best joke of the year 2006. HAHAHAHAHHA

2006-02-01T01:55:00.000+08:00

you only come complain me when you in a foul weather, i wonder why i'm still concerned about you. honestly.

i'm a in foul mood, but pity i have no foul weather friends.

2006-01-22T18:04:00.001+08:00

Special earrings hand-made going at reasonable prices.

limited pieces available for each design.

check them out at www.flutter--.blogspot.com

2006-01-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

i think these 2 days have been rather funny, my friends seem to the topic of my conversations,

for personal reasons, i will leave his name as xxx

xxx says: (11:08:32 PM)
btw ur valerie friend quite chio leh

sky says:(11:08:36 PM)
huh?

sky says:(11:08:40 PM)
which valerie?

xxxsays:(11:08:40 PM)
I like bracers

and ok, now i know, he has a fetish for braces.

and valerie, SEEEEE! you have admirers tooooo!

2006-01-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

i was about to go to bed when a friend of mine posed me a question, which made me lose sleep that night.

never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
eh! hy's attached right?
sky says:
HUIYING?
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
to who ah? i know?
sky says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
ok maybe not.
sky says:
i'm going to put it on my blog

and after awhile,

never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
NO!
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
that'll malu the hell out of me.
sky says:
HAHAHA
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
god. if she ever finds out.

obviously, being human, i was curious why she though like that.

sky says:
how come you think she attached?
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
dunno leh.
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
her blog sounds like she is.
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
i show u
never arbitrary. never ostentatious. says:
"i am a true blue cancer madly in love with my one true love, limpy the scorpio"

ok, huiying, i know you wanan kill me right now, but watch those words i say.

HUIYING ATTACHED!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA